I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
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Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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