I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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