Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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