I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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