mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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