what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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