i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
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we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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