Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Houston, we have a blender
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize