We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
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Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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