he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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