either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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