I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize