I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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