Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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