I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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