Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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