I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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