My brain says no but my pants say off.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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