Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish you could order shots online.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize