We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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