I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize