he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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