he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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