You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize