I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
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Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
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The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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