I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This girl is more easily done than said...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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