And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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