and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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