I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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