I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize