Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize