It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize