Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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