standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize