Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize