Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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