i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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