the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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