Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize