I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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