Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize