We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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