12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
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i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
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it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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