can u get pink eye on your cock?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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