I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize