The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You made out with two different species that night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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