I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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