Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize