they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize