Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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